Far From Home/No Friends

Far from home just makes me feel left out by my family
And being where I am just makes it feel even worst to be far from them
I know this is my life and career but yet I feel like, “why am I really here“?
What am I really doing here?
I mean I feel like being here is just wasting my time when I could be somewhere I want to be becoming successful
I mean being where I am is good to me but yet I feel like what I’m doing here is just a waste of my time and also my money
Being here just makes me miss my family a lot
Mainly because I don’t want to be where I am right now
I don’t feel comfortable with this type of environment
I mean don’t get me wrong I love the friends I have and also the beautiful women I see everyday
But yet I still cant get over the fact that I’m somewhere I don’t want to be at…..
I know I made a big mistakes coming to a place where I knew from the get go I should not be
Or better yet somewhere I didn’t want to go…..
Most people don’t really fully understand my point when I tell them my reasons why I don’t like it here
I try and explain to some but yet its like people wont really fully understand my story behind me being here….
But the most important people in my life really don’t get my point in why I don’t want to be here
Its like they hardly care about how I feel towards my life right now
I mean I still and always will love, care and respect them
That’s never going to change
But yet for them to not understand me right now in my life, really hurts a spot in my heart….
Being far away from them isn’t so much easy as people want to put it
Its kind of hard for me to be far from home with no one hardly to talk to or associate with
I have so little amount of friends I can pretty much name them on one hand
That’s how low it is….
But basically beside those few, I have no friends….
Coming here I had somewhat of a bunch of friends, but when me and those friends got here
They seem to forget who I was….
Though it is sad, I basically am use to people being friends at first to me but then some point later they’re gone and I’ll never see or talk to them again……
I care when I lose friends but nevertheless I still have a careless feeling that goes on inside of me
So I just let it go and let it be it is what it is…..
I don’t beg for people to associate with me
Because I’m going to do me and make it into life whether I have friends or not….
I am glad of the few friends I have but deep down besides having no friends I’m also missing someone special that I can really talk to and get somewhat close to
I am mentally, emotionally and physically ready for a relationship but yet I am patient
Because I don’t want to rush so I’m going to wait till I spot that very special one
I am a little bitter on waiting but its for the best though…..
Being far away from home and having no friends has put a some damp into my heart
Because without those things motivating me, its hard to concentrate on my life and what I’m doing
Though its hard to be away from home with no friends
I will try and keep my head up and think positive
I wish I had something to spark my life right now
But the only thing that can spark my life now is my book and also you